Every soul has it's own agenda in life.It is a blessing for the self when we are able to simply accept that reality - and accept it with thankfulness no matter what.
This is the great wonder of love when it calls us to follow it's pathway.We do not cease to be who we thought we were,we just expand in a way that causes us to be almost unrecognisable to ourself. Once we have thus expanded,we can never return to what we were.Once we have experienced the enormous capacity of lovingness, which is the hidden life treasure within, we begin to become fully aware of the great mystery of life. I acknowledge a difference between 'lovingness' and what we may call 'the impulses of the body or the habit of living together'. For is it not a truism that sometimes we have to love enough to allow the other person to follow their own agenda? In truth, is that not what we want - that the other shall find self-fulfillment and happiness? Is that not the amazing phenomena of love?
This is what I mean when I talk of not allowing others to define who we are,how we express our lovingness. If we allow ourselves to surrender to a sense of self pity,rejection,depression because a dream of love has been shattered by a reality of needs - then we deny ourself! We deny the enormity of lovingness that is the universe of our true self.