Monday, December 31, 2001

31st December 2001 23-00 CET
Light the candle :)

"And I said to the man who stood
at the gate of the year
'Give me a light that I may tread
safely into the unknown'
And he replied
'Go out into the darkness
and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light
and safer than a known way' "
(M.Louisa Hoskins)

"This little light of mine
I'm going to let it shine"
Is a pretty old gospel spiritual. But a good one.
It contains within it a sparkling gem of truth.

We, as individual aspects of 'The Oneness',
individual expressions of infinite, unconditional
Love....we also are resplendant beams not simply
reflecting but being an integral part of the whole.

When we let our light shine, the true inner light
with which we come into this expression of
experiencing that we call life, when we do this...
we are truly
"In the Oneness"

We are not lost in anonymity, nor absorbed
by a mass....
we are sparkling raindrops in a brilliant rainbow
we are laughter, happiness,
joy expressed as lovingness.

In wishing you a Happy New Year - a year filled
with wonderful experiences of the uncountable
blessings that surround wishing you this..
I hope you will permit your light to shine..
within and without.

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Friday, December 28, 2001

28th December 2001 13-10 CET
Lemmings or Gods?
One of life's greatest spiritual challenges is to try and show love,
tolerance, respect even to those who do not show it to others.

If we fail to do this are we not the same?

If we allow anger and hatred to rule our thoughts have we not
also become terrorists? Have we not also become that which
we disliked in the other?

It may well be that humanity will seek to dash headlong, like
lemmings, over the cliff of rationality and lovingness and into
the chasm of self destruction.....hmmm.. but, somehow, I do not
feel so.

"Throughout history there have been tyrants and they seem
to conquer and rule. But history shows they always, always fall.
Remember that when you doubt the way of Love. Always."

As has been seen In America with the proposals by the
Attorney General to change the balance of legality/principle
in respect of courts/trials for terrorists...when we are faced
with horrendous insult and injury to that which we hold
precious, in what way do we preserve the preciousness
by sacrificing it in the name of expediency?

It is in the moment of being 'attacked' that we define ourselves,
our principles, our lovingness. When that which is the basis of
our civilisation comes under gruesome challenge...that is the
moment when we most have the opportunity to place into
this reality those spiritual concepts.

Assaulted by a ceaseless barrage of claim and counter claim,
outrage and horror, it is easy to revert to 'old habits of

It has been well said that the greatest violence is poverty.
In what way, therefore, does the use of resource to wage
war enrich the ordinary people? Rather it performs
'the violence of poverty' against those very persons
it is claimed that war will protect. Ha! What a myth!
What a fairy tale!

Perhaps if we had spent more time, energy and resource
caring for each other, sharing with each other...perhaps
the malaria-like breeding grounds of injustice, inequality,
and deprivation would not have given birth to a plague
of terrorism.

It has also been said that the best form of defence is attack.

I say the best form of attack is compassion! This holds
the highest potential for the realisation of a fair, just and
enriched world. Rather than expending energy destroying,
is it really...really..beyond our capability to expend it in creating?

Is it not clear to all by now...that if we do not share then our
aspirations to justice, equality, freedom are simply dust
blown in a wind of chance?

And what is it I would have us share? Possessions? Hah!
We always do after we are dead, huh? Principles? Hah!
Such sharing has littered history with the bones of the innocent.
Freedom? Hah! Freedom is not a dream nor an idealogy. Freedom
is the song of a loving heart that it cannot resist singing.

There is only one thing we have. Only one thing with which we
come into this life and leave this life. There is only one thing
that holds us in this creativity.......and one thing that holds
us in eternity.....
Only one thing we can claim as our own....and only then when
we give it away......

UNconditional LOVE.

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Monday, December 24, 2001

24th December 2001 01-45 am
The lake just outside, maybe 50 metres from my home, is over
30 kilometres long. Today spasmodic shafts of sunlight
sparkled from the fast forming ice, reflected onto
nearby pine trees and shimmered on the black/white patterned
trunks of the noble Birch trees.
Nature's team of artists have been busy pointilising white
highlights on all the trees and bushes and the carpetting
team have been doing their thing with sublty textured
white over the land itself.
In looks like we are in for one of those good
old yesteryear traditional white Christmases.
I've written and sent the cards cards..still have a few
precious ones to send over email....and followed
my personal tradition of playing Handel's Messiah as
well as some of the Christmas 'tunes' we all like to hear.
I am especially fortunate to possess a cassette of an
incredible Norwegian choir, a boys and mens choir, called
Solvguttene (The Silver Boys) who render some of the very
special Scandinavian Christmas melodies with a purity of sound
and precision of co-ordination that...well, frankly, brings tears
to the eyes.
Outside our home I have, for the past 2 years, erected a 1 metre
diameter 'Christmas Star' composed of Christmas lights.I understand
it is visible from many kilometres away, across and down the lake.
I usually decorate inside with hanging decorations, some of which I
have had for over 30 years. These kind of connect me to my past, to
my life in England and all those incredible Christmases that shower my
memory more thickly than any snowfalls can.
So far, however, I have not been able to find the motivation to
erect the star or install any decorations.
In my small, perhaps insignificant, way I am mindful of a need
to remember all those who will not be able to share this Christmas
with a loved one's presence, someone who has now departed this life.
I especially feel this to be, as it were, highlighted by the events of
September 11th. This first year of the new millenium has been
a unique year for all of mankind. It is a year that we can never forget
and there are many, many, many whose existence and presence
cannot be forgotten.
The unfolding of this tragedy in all it's graphic detail through
the instantaneous media now available to us, has located all
of us into the middle of an enormous tragedy in a way that
perhaps we have never seen or known before.
So, I feel my lights should not go up this year as a token of
a shared grief. My wife and I will probably light some candles
in the snow outside, as we have done previously...though this
time I shall light mine with a greater sense of commemoration.
Christmas is a time for family, for sweet memories of friends
and remembrances of people we have loved...and still love
though they are no longer in our physical presence.

So, my "Christmas lights" will be absent as a token of the 'unseen
presence'. It is a small token. It is a sincere token.

Sometimes it is only when something appears to be absent in our
reality that it is really present in our awareness.

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Wednesday, December 12, 2001

11th December 2001 14-30 CET
Ersatz (it's a looong one, hehehe)
It is a strange paradox, is it not, that the increased communications
and material wealth of the last century - and especially the last decades
- seems to have produced a remarkable irony? Namely, plagues of loneliness,
emptiness, boredom, disatisfaction with life. There is a 'kick-conditioned
mentality' around that is not simply related to the experimentation
of youth.One of the saddest aspects of all of this is the apparent
disillusionment leading to self destructive excesses in young people.

I am simply observing, there is neither criticism nor praise in my
observations... I hope :):)

Some persons strive to gather money, although they never use it, and
in the process lose their friends, family, even their very self. Eventually
dwelling in a paranoia palace. Amazingly this process, though meant
to obtain desired 'security' produces the absolute many

Some persons eat, eat, eat. They are not hungry, but they eat. Even
though they probably know they are damaging their long term health
prospects they can't resist eating. Filling themselves from the outside
in the hope of filling a non-physical emptiness inside.

Some persons seek thrill, stimulus, excitement in a never ending
cycle of neuron stimulation, fearing within the silences as though
the silence meant death. 'Living life to the full' is an oft used phrase
but surely that is dependant upon one's definition of life, huh? How often
we hear this term 'I'm bored', like it's up to someone else, or something
else, to create something in your life for you? Hmmm.....

Some persons seek knowledge of spiritual things somehow believing
that to have this knowledge is also to have the wisdom to use it. So
they study, they read, they input the life experiences of as many
others as they can....then they seek to mimic someone else's
individualised experience whilst only comprehending a very small
part of it - for how can we experience as another has experienced
unless we have lived their life? All is individual.There may be common
threads but they weave individual tapestries, huh?

And loving experiences. Some persons gather up 'love experiences' like
it's the only way they can feel they exist at all. Being wanted, being
needed seem to be such high priorities....and the more these aspects
fail to deliver the 'inner fulfillment' the more they chase after yet newer
experiences of 'being loved'. It's like they have to feel as though they
'belong' somewhere and if they can't feel that it creates depression
(a means of reorientating one's acceptance, or otherwise, of a life
circumstance), unhappiness, discontent...and sometimes much worse
than this.

Always this search outside of ourselves for something that can never be
inside...unless and until we are willing to accept that it is already there,
huh? HUH?

Seeking these things outside of ourself is a substitute, it's ersatz, it's
a compensation for not having accepted, realised, become aware that
we already have all of these things inside us.

Question: Can your loneliness fill another's loneliness?
Question: Can an empty glass fill another empty glass?
Question: Can your sense of being unwanted fill another persons want?
Question: If you cannot love yourself, how can you expect that someone
else can love you? Is that not an unfair and unrealistic demand
upon another?
Question: If you do love yourself, if you really know who and what you are,
is not your primary motivation to give out 'the lovingness' rather
than to concern yourself with receiving from another? Is not this
the way of Christ, of the Bhudda, the Dalai Lama, Gandhi and others
we regard as 'spiritual greats' that have walked the earth?
Question: If you lack 'self respect' how can you expect others to respect you?
Question: If you make yourself less than you are, why be surprised when
others treat you as less?
Question: why do you seek from the outside an awareness that can only
be found on the inside?

As I have previously written in this blog, all are equal in the realm of the
'lovingness'. There are no higher and no lower, no caste system, no leader/
follower, we all arrive in this reality equal in a spiritual sense. We may have
differing agendas of experiencing but...and it's a very big the
realm of 'the Oneness' no-one is superior or inferior.

Oh, in this experiencing reality called life, in some material
senses it may be that there appears to be some emotional
senses it may appear there is inequality...but look again. Are the wealthy
truly happy and fulfilled? Is there really a possibility of happiness that is
not a personal perception or a personal realisation?

How can it be that so many that have achieved 'material success' are still
unfulfilled? Or so many that have masses of 'friends or acquaintances' still
feel lonely? Or so many who have sought love from another still feel
unloved or disrespected?

Surely it is clear: if it doesn't come from within yourself, it cannot
come from outside - for even if it did come from outside, if you did not
already have it within you could never recognise the visitor.

So, a little suggestion..the 'Churchill methodology'. Winston Churchill
used to make a list...all the good things on one side...all the bad things
on the other (you have your own definitions of what's good and bad, huh?).
Try it yourself...find some quietness...create some stillness in your
busy world....and simply sit and list all the attributes about yourself
that you consider good, worthwhile.....then list all the things you consider
'ungood' (ungood is a way of saying not good that also implies the power
to change undo it)..

Important note here - list those things which are your own perception of
yourself, not what or who others think you are (they have their own
reasons for projecting their own problems onto you, huh?).

When you have finished your list...simply ask this really
me as I see myself? Then ask...would I love me if I were someone

Then ask I love me?

(If you really got trouble with your list, send me a copy..... we'll
work with it together if you wish. Your choice, huh?)

Now...know this...understand fully, fully aware of this...
no matter who or what you think you are......
there is no way, no way, that you are not loved unconditionally
within the 'lovingness of the Oneness'. (and for those with a negative
view of themselves please note the grammatical double negative in the
preceeding's a way to stress that the lovingness accepts
us as we are...not as some conceptualisation would like us to be).

Byron Katey, in her 'The Work' personal self realisation system
said a beautiful wonderful thing one time. She said " When you walk
into a room, know that everyone loves you...they're just not all
aware of it yet."

But then, why should they be...when you are not aware of how
fantastic a person you are in the sight of the 'Oneness' or even
in your own view of yourself, huh?

Nor is this a call to ego inspired arrogance, for in the
'balancing of the lovingness' an amazing thing happens...
the more you can be aware of how magnificent you are..
the more aware you become of the magnificence of another also.
The more aware you are of yourself, the more aware you are of others.

Postscript in answer to an email:
It is my need to write this blog, my expression of my awareness.
This need have nothing to do with you. I can tell you nothing
you do not already know..spiritually. If there is anything in
these writings that 'rings a bell' in your spirit..the bell was already
within you to be rung, huh? Nor will you take in any aspect
of another's experiencing that is not already a paraphrasing of your
own awareness. We have nothing to learn....only to be aware of
what we already have inside.
Pranam :):)

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Tuesday, December 11, 2001

Tuesday 11th December 2001 02-00 CET
Go on, admit it, it's happened to you :) There you are in the middle
of a conversation with someone and...suddenly...out come some
words from your brain and mouth and you can see that the other
person is...hmmm..astounded?...hmmm..impressed?

You've had this happen, haven't you?

Only afterwards , when you think back on it, are you left with the
feeling "where did I get that from?. Did I really say that?". It's
even more amazing if you happen to be discussing 'spiritual
things', huh? Gems fall out of our consciosness sometimes
like it's raining wisdom and blessings...and we can't quite
figure out how that came to be in our mind/brain/consciousness
in the first place.

More often than not it's such a simple statement as well. Simple
to say but incredibly profound. I look at these blogs I write, talking
to this imaginary readership (I think there's probably 3 or 4 peeps
that occasionally read them, hehehe), and I find it difficult to really
believe I wrote them. I mean, I know I've typed them. I know I've 'blogged'
them...I am just not so sure where they really came from in the
first place. I've not exactly read a mountain of books, attended
a mass of seminars or satsangs, chased around eastern or westen
'centres of spirituality'...I mean I've never been to Risikesh or stuff
like that.

Oh, I've perhaps been to a bit more than Mr. Average...but even so
there's stuff here that I don't recognise from anywhere else....and
certainly don't recognise from within myself.

Now here's an interesting anomaly: when we fall in love we seem
to become a whole new person, huh? We grow in dimensions
that we never knew were possible. Love just simply seems to bring
out the best in us...a best we hardly seemed aware was there.
It's usually nothing like the fantasy we had, or the dream we
hoped. It's like there was this cocoon of self that suddenly
explodes into a butterfly of self-awareness.

Now, if the whole 'love/loving' experience of human relationships
can do this much for us....what do you think the unlimited,
unconditional lovingness of the 'Oneness' does for us... even
when we aren't conscious of it happening ?

I was chatting yesterday during a travelled visit...and out came
"Give out love and you get masses of love's the
universal law. It's the Oneness". Ok, that I've heard before in
some form or another. What I got back though was a little
surprising. The other person said "you really know that, don't
you?" I just answered, like breathing, as naturally as breathing,
"Yes, I do."

Suddenly, like a magnificent sunrise, like a beautiful deep blue
butterfly fluttering to a gentle landing on the end of my nose----
suddenly, it hit me..."Yes, I do". That's exactly how I felt when I
said it..I did - do - know it, because I've experienced it.

So have you ! At first, because we can't rationalise it, control it
or make it do what we 'think' we want to do...we dismiss it.We
ignore it. We try to pretend it didn't really happen whilst all the time
knowing it WAS a part of our experiencing. So we keep denying
it until we almost believe our own denials....then...
it happens again, huh? hehehehehehehe
We say something, do something..even just think something....
and we can't understand where this came from.

Until...suddenly....we know.

The extraordinary hides in the ordinary.
We become 'extraordinary' when we are willing to see it :):)

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Thursday, December 06, 2001

6th December 2001 15-00 hrs CET
Unwelcome guests?
When 'surprise attacked' by apparently overwhelming horror
or threat it is normal for most of us to revert to the amygdala
'fight or flight' mechanism.This mechanism, as I understand it,
is a kind of 'intuitive library' genetically coded through the
ages of mankind.

The raised hairs on the back of the neck, the heightened
'awareness', the increased adrenalin-fuelled metabolism
all conspire to tell us that 'fear' has entered our
self-preservation instinct programme and become

It comes as a welcome guest ,complete, hopefully, with an
overnight bag. It offers a degree of security and sense of
pre-warned stability. It is not an army, but has control of one.

However, when fear enters our domain carrying a load of
luggage/suitcases then we have reason to fear fear itself.

For fear likes luxury. It likes to impress us with the trappings
of it's power.We can soon be enchanted by such power, especailly
if our own egos crave such power ourselves. It enjoys travelling
with an absolute mass of suitcases and a large entourage of staff.
In this scenario fear brings with it hatred, prejudice, intolerance..
main staff members. Why, it even brings it's own gardener complete
with a gruesome chain saw with which it 'prunes' the roots of our logic,
our morality, our sense of justice and freedom....until the spiritual
tree of 'the self' trembles precariously in a wind of terror-inspired

Notice the cleverness of the tactic. Don't attack the trunk of the tree
(well, unless you're a beaver who is especially equipped for that, huh?)
for that is hard to do unobserved. Rather seek the roots that hold
the mighty form aloft. Little by little the roots break away and when
they are all but totally gone...then we are hostage, completely, to fear as
our form trembles in the storms that threaten our very existence.

This is, essentially, the process of indoctrination. In terms of 'religious
or political conversion' it is very adequately documented......increase the
threat of annihilation, increase the awareness of mortality and pain, increase
the definitions of 'sin/guilt'...disorientate the subject by deprivation techniques
(whether physical, psychological or both) until an abreactive point
is reached (a point of fear inspired nervous collapse)...and then, bingo!
The subject rejects those 'root standards' that have been the cause
of all this 'terror'...and accepts a new codus that promises relief, peace
and heavenly tranquility based upon adherence to the new codus. Better
to fly in the clouds of illusion than tremble in the reality...huh?

Now, you, the individual have ceased to be individual. You have
become a 'groupie', a 'convert', a 'follower', etc.etc. You conform
to a doctrine of 'safety in numbers'.

All out of the opposite to Love...fear! Worst of all, you have sacrificed
self respect in the process and, accordingly, afford no others respect.

It is not a rule, nor a codus, nor a pre-condition to 'being in the lovingness
of the Oneness' that you, YOU, cease to be what you have been created to UNconditionally loved individualised aspect of the 'Oneness'.

In the final analysis this is where fear loses the battle, the war. For fear
has nothing in it's armoury with which it can fight the supremacy of

When unwelcome guests overstay their 'welcome' have a
wonderful opportunity to embrace them 'in the lovingness'. By being
fully your true spiritual self you make a friend of an enemy, an enemy
that first visited posing as a friend. By showing love in the face of hatred,
Love in the face of prejudice, Love in the face of intolerance... we
absorb those energies and transmute them.

For we all invite into our 'spirit' that which is necessary for us to
experience the fullest possible experiencing of who we truly are.
Rooted in the 'Oneness' we blossom with lovingness.

return to website........................................

Monday, December 03, 2001

Sunday 2nd December 2001 23-30 CET
We do so love to be organised, plan things out, schedule our lives.
It reassures us to feel that we 'are in control'. That's fair enough,
in many ways...especially spiritually...we are in control. In reality,
(well in this reality we call 'the life experience'), even when we
are surrounded by chaos...when life seems to bear down upon us
with a million problems...when our emotions are torn and
bleeding from the sheer stress of 'trying to hang in there'..we
are far more in control than we can consciously acknowledge.

The 'chaos' is a means of experiencing, huh?

So let's just examine this 'chaos' for a moment or two.
Generally speaking 'chaos' is the pre-condition to creativity.
If an artist sees only one image on a canvas, if a musician
only hears one tune in his/her head, if we only can perceive
one scenario in our conscious state....our subconscious
quickly alerts us to a mass of other possibilities - in dreams,
day-dreams, angst, and a lot of other methodologies.

Soon our 'single minded perception' fragments under a
burden of 'chaotic conceptualities'. The underlying scenario,
the deep inner awareness, is fairly simple actually. We are
challenged by a life circumstance to accept a situation which
we find unacceptable. That's the opening of the door for
the force of chaos to enter in. Yet, go a little deeper and
you soon find that most, if not all, of the chaos is
'self generated'.

You see, I am a committed believer in the concept that,
at least on a personal life level, a problem is simply a
solution awaiting it's time of birth. We set our sub-conscious
a problem and it's starts - like some super-computer generating
terrabytes of data - permutating possibilities. Indeed, most of
this 'chaotic broadbanded activity' is actually occurring before
we have consciously recognised any problem. By the time
we start acknowledging a problem consciously, the creative
chaos is already well advanced within us. It's like our
sub-c was aware of a potential problem long before we
were consciously aware of it, huh?

Chaos is the pre-condition for creativity! Creativity is our
natural 'in the Oneness' state. We all are incredibly productive
'creation machines'. We are producing, all the time and in
in amazing ways, scenarios that enable our wider experiencing
of the: realisation of concepts : the sensing of materialised
experiencing : methodologies by which we define who we are
and thus enable ourselves to see ourselves - know who and
what we are.

'Chaos' is the raw material of creativity. 'Chaos' is the 'mud of
materialisation'. 'Chaos' - mental, emotional, psychological,-
is the first indicator that we are busy creating!!!!

Chaos is not a is THE blessing :):)

So let's not get swept away by the storms of 'chaos' that
we seem to observe occurring within us as we struggle to
find a methodology of 'acceptance' of a specific life scenario.
Simply trust the your own innermost motivations.
Trust that you only have a 'problem' because you are a 'spiritual
entity that is seeking to experience concepts- concepts you already
knew before you came into this life's walk - in a material environment. are seeking to be what you know you are...and to experience the
being instead of just the knowing.'

Next time you feel pressured...stressed....uncomfortable with a life
scenario....lacking in self confidence........
trust the chaotic feelings that are whirling around inside of you.
That is a wind of creative change that will manifest itself in a
scenario that will permit you to modify, adjust to, moderate or
accept that circumstance which first created the awareness
of a problem within you. We can 'create a way out of any

Chaos gives birth to creativity: through that creativity we define
ourselves. Problems are simply solutions awaiting their time of birth.
If we can perceive a problem consciously, we are already working with
it subconsciously and spiritually. We must be, or we couldn't perceive it.
You don't have a problem unless and until you recognise you have a
problem, huh? The methodolgies for resolving problems are as
innumerable as raindrops...and like snowflakes, each one is

"Inner chaos" is not an enemy...rather it is a welcome and precious
friend. When you cannot find chaos inside anymore, you have
ceased to be willing to experiment with the 'life experiencing'.

The chaos is simply a mechanism for allowing you to be you...
and to know yourself better :):)

Hmmm..and on a totally different subject...I am told that the
human body is over 80% how come we can stand up?
Or how come, when we go swimming,...............heehehehehehe :)

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Saturday, December 01, 2001

Friday 30th November 2001 23-00 CET
There are many people who like to believe, perhaps need to
believe, that one has to be in a particularly devout, meditative
or prayerful frame of mind in order to 'tune in' to the 'energy
flows'. As I keep observing, we are all individual aspects of
the 'Oneness' and therefore it is right that we each have our
own chosen methodology for expressing and impressing
the 'flow of lovingness'.

It takes billions of refracting raindrops to make a rainbow, huh?
Each one playing it's part in the magnificent whole.

These things being so it is not surprising that many folks look
to a 'spiritual leader' ( a preacher, Guru, priest, etc.) for
guidance - it is each person's individual 'tradition', desire and need
that dictates the manner of the walk.No walk is greater or lesser
than another - just as nor raindrop in the rainbow is greater or
lesser than another, huh?

Yet, it must also be observed, that there is a need, a requirement,
to try and be as open minded - open-souled - as possible. If we are
not we run the danger of missing out on so much beauty, so many
symbols of lovingness, by proceeding with simply a narrow view
of the interaction of the 'Oneness'.

So it is that clarification can come in many disguises: from
the actions of a simple, humble person in their open-hearted
willingness to express the 'lovingness'... to even the actions,
words and thoughts of the great and mighty.

Be we high or be we low, all we need is love...all we have
is love. In the final analysis, Love is all there is.

That seems to be the continuous core message throughout
history. Love, love, love.

The manifestations of love are manifestations of the 'Oneness'.
The concept is realised - real-ised - in this life experiencing.
It is given form, sensitised, refined, moderated and modulated
in every aspect of the 'cosmos'. Nor does it ever end, it is
a fully recyclable condition. Has there ever been anyone
you have loved and still do not love? A family member?
A friend? Even your first 'being in love' experience as a
teenager - you still remember it clearly, it always leaves
a profound imprint, huh? For the continuance of love is no
more and no less an affirmation of yourself, a statement of who
you are . And wasn't it...isn't amazing
incredible, mind-blowing experience..this awareness of the
potential within ourselves for the energy of the 'lovingness'
to permeate our existence?

In the knowledge that love never ever ever ends, we therefore
never lose anyone. Though, like the winter's snow, the body
may transform and recycle - the dust blow in new life energy
breezes, or grow the roots of new flowers and trees - the
'love energy' which surrounded the dust and which we call
'our self' is, always has been, always will be, an aspect
of the infinite lovingness I call the 'Oneness'. (This is not
an easy recognition for those who seemed determined to
believe in hells, damnations, devils...and stuff like that, huh?)

The 'Oneness' - super consciousness if you prefer that
terminology - God if you prefer that terminology - the
'Oneness' is everything and nothing. The supreme 'Am,
Am not' (both must exist for there to be a relativity).

Whether 'I am' or 'Am not' visible in the dusted form
that my spirit energy holds as my irrelevant
to my spiritual existence. It is, however, relevant, to
my experiencing within this life's realities and to the
experiencing of those with whom I am able to share
my 'lovingness' - the lovingness that travels through me.

So, today, we say goodbye to the dust that was
formed within the loving spiritual energies of a
truly wonderfully 'ordinary' person whose life demonstrated
my oft repeated 'mantra' that it is in the ordinary that the
extra-ordinary is found. A peace loving
person whose energies constructed melodies that
sang in the hearts of millions and millions and millions
of us. Melodies that enriched our life experiencing.

But, perhaps we shall we find to be a truism
about any we have ever loved...or who have loved us..
they never fully leave us.

Something in the way.....'he walked'.

See you... again.... George Harrison. Thanks for 'walking' with
us and sharing yourself with us. Thanks for all the melodies
you created in our life experiencings.

return to website...............................

Thursday, November 29, 2001

Thursday 29th November 2001 14-00 CET
I guess just about anyone that's ever been 'in love' knows the
problem of 'being in love with someone who doesn't love you'
World literature is littered with autumn-like carpets of
'unrequited love leaves'. Reading some of these, or watching
the movie versions, gives one mixed sensations of pity,
anger, confusion and, if you are fortunate never to have
first hand experience yourself, amazement and even amusement
at the absurdity of it.

One could reasonably assume, therefore, that the human race
would, by now, have learnt that love is not something that
'can be manipulated or forced'. No disciplined army training
type of thing, no indoctrination, brain-washing, legal
framework or social norm can cause a person to love another.
It just happens. It is there or not there.

With all this human history screaming it's message through
the ages it is all the more amazing that we continue to react towards
'the Oneness' as though 'the Oneness' were composed of the
same - or similar - attributes as we humans. We keep 'inventing'
human characteristics for 'the Oneness'. I call this

Yet, with unbelievable regularity and repetition, leaders and
'opinion-influencers' of seemingly all the 'major religions' keep
pushing the same message......"do this, do that, do the other,
do not do this, do not do that, do not do the other.- Dress like this,
don't dress like that. Eat this, don't eat that. Think this don't think that"
and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on.......etc.

In some areas of the world this 'humanenting' actually KILLS people.
It's intolerance breeds hatred/jealousy/envy. It's intolerance breeds
prejudice (40 million diagnosed/estimated to suffer from HIV/Aids...
and religions can be prejudiced about it??? It's unbelievable! In the
face of the biggest threat to the continuance of the species....
religious prejudice rules,OK???)

Humanenting gives rise to events like the WTC tragedy - for such is the
'lack of faith' that some actually believe it is their 'God given duty'
to protect God; that is to say to 'control God or perceptions of
God to suit their own private power agendas'. They then carry out
this 'agenda' enthused by the absolute opposite of love - hatred,
daring to call their actions 'the work of the faithful'. Oh, how we
have such a capacity for justification of our every non-loving

UNCONDITIONAL love means exactly what it says. It does not
rely on humanenting - human perceptions of what unlimited,
unrestricted,unrewarded, unrecognised,unintelligible love
actually is.

The 'lovingness' of the 'Oneness' requires neither your obedience,
recognition, or acceptance. If you think otherwise then you
delude yourself. You 'humanent'. The 'Oneness' is Unconditional
Love....and by His/Her/It's own definition can be nothing else.

This 'lovingness' is in no way dependent upon you -no action you
take (or don't take), no worship you offer (or don't offer), no
sacrifice you make (or don't make...remember Abraham?), no
code of living you have (or don't have), etc.etc..... can be used
as a tool to 'bribe' the lovingness of the 'Oneness'.

The 'Oneness' requires you only to be the best 'loving YOU' you
can be,and how can you be otherwise in the final analysis? For the
'end game' is simple...from love you came into this reality and to
love you shall return..into the fullest reality of the 'lovingness'
The individuality of your existence is not a curse (except to
control structured conformity), it is the blossoming of the
flower of 'lovingness' - for your 'individuality is, and always has
been and always will be, an aspecting of the 'lovingness' of the

It is a fact of spiritual life!!!! The unconditionality of the 'lovingness'

Unrequited love is the state of loving another who does not love
you back. It's a 'human condition''s not a condition of
the 'lovingness' of the 'Oneness'.

You are loved. You will always be loved. Always and in
all ways.

The 'Oneness' does not need revenge, judgement, devils, hells,
rejections, excommunications, or any of that stuff. If you think
that it does, then you 'humanent'.

The great joy of love is when one discovers one's own
capacity for it and that one can also give it unconditionally.
Does the apple blossom choose who may see it's incredible
form and beauty - or who may sense it's delicate perfume?
Are you not more than an apple blossom petal?
When one discovers the wonder, the incredible beauty
of the power of unconditional LOVE, a power that changes
one's perception of this life's discover a
power that changes your perception of who you really are :):)
In that moment your awareness, your consciousness, of who
you really are expands exponentially into the fullness of
'the lovingness', you become a 'self recognised aspect'
of the 'Oneness'. An integral and inseperable aspect.

It is not something to be studied. It is not something to
be learnt. It is not something to be prayed about or
meditated upon. It's not a catechism or ritual or discipline.
It is just something to be done, to be experienced.
We all come into this life experience knowing all there
is to know, spiritually, about unconditional love.
Then we are taught..and learn..about conditional love.
When you become aware that most of your 'thoughts'
are other people's 'thoughts' that have been 'injected
into you'.....then you start to want to be yourself!
The real 'self', the individual self that is an aspect
of 'the Oneness'. The self that simply desires to materialise
in this 'experiencing reality we call life', every possible
aspect of unconditional love.

Do it once, take the'll find you can't stop
doing it, hehehehehehe

return to website..................................................

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

Tuesday 27th November 2001 15-40 CET
More Coincidences
On 6th November I wrote about coincidences. Well today I was reading one
of my favourite things on the web...Alastair Cooke's "Letter from America"
which is found on the BBC website (
under world news section. Alastair Cooke is, I believe, in his early 90's now and has the
enviable record of the longest radio show...over 50 years now I think.
More especially, he is a very knowledgeable person and has been
'well connected' for a long time. He was asked to reprint the following
account of the 'Kennedy coincidences'..and added a little more:

"Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846, Kennedy exactly one hundred years later in 1946.
Lincoln was elected president in November 1860, Kennedy in November 1960.
Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy who urged him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln who advised against his going to Dallas.
Booth shot Lincoln in a theatre and ran off into a warehouse. Oswald shot Kennedy from a
warehouse and ran off into a theatre. Lincoln was succeeded by a Southerner named Johnson.
Kennedy was succeeded by a Southerner named Johnson. The first Johnson was born
in 1808, the second in 1908.

Well no soothsayer has helped (to explain these 'coincidences').
I have, however, a favourite theologian - my only favourite theologian - Dr Frederick Buechner.
He has written, among many books, a small book called An Alphabet of Grace - his ideas
about the pervasion of what he calls the grace of God are wide and ranging, funny and imagination
and may amuse or enlighten the irreligious as well as the devout. Under C we find "coincidence".
Here it is."I see in a letter the name of a woman I haven't seen or thought of for 20 years,
next morning I run into her in a grocery store in our town.
"I look out the window, a solitary car passes, its licence plate combines my initials
and those of my wife. We chuckle. "Perhaps somebody is saying, 'Stay the course'.
Somebody may keep reminding you that they have you in mind."

Alastair Cooke: Letter from America: BBC website: 27th November 2001

return to website..........................................................

Sunday, November 25, 2001

Saturday 24th November 2001 22-30 CET
Been to a party recently? Did you 'circulate'? Notice how when you
were introduced to people, or they to you, it was usually "Hi George, this
is Frank, he's an accountant" or "Hi, how are you? What do you do for
a living?".

You know the sort of thing, huh?

Fifty years ago when people did not have quite the economic freedoms
we have in the west today, what a man - or woman - did for their job
actually had little bearing on what sort of a person they were. They did
their job for the economic necessity of it.
Today, we have much more choice, much more freedom to 'develop our
inner potential", yet even that is not necessarily an indicator of why
someone does the job they do. For example, Frank - the accountant -
may simply be a very steady, home-loving guy who believes in the
preciousness of family. He may be bored to tears with his job as
an accountant - pushing figures across pages - but wants a 'steady
secure scenario' so his wife and children can benefit to the utmost
from his sense of security and balance (hmmm. excuse the pun, hehehe).
Of course, Frank could also be a real fantasy - his work is just a cover
for the fact that he's so arrogant and self-assured - he's embezzling
millions from his clients. (With apologies to any Franks who may be
reading this, as frank is just an 'example' name for this illustration)

Knowing what a person does hardly tells us anything about who the
person is. Huh? There are other aspects, qualities that tell us much more.
Honesty, integrity, warmth of personality...such things as these.

Maybe you would know much more about the 'Frank' above if
you were one of his clients. You would 'know him' better...know the
other aspects of his existence that make him who he really is. The fact
that he won't cheat on you, for example. Or Jack the policeman, the fact that
he's never impatient or unfair, he never treats anyone any different from another

Spiritually speaking, we do not define ourselves by what we it teacher,
preacher, guru, disciple, etc.etc. We are defined by what we are not! We define
ourselves by what we are not, huh?

At the WTC there were many, many professionals - firemen, police,
rescue service personnel, Office workers, tradesmen and women,
many who simply could not stand idly by and watch their fellow human beings
suffer. Their first instinct, spiritual motivation, was to help and try to save others
....because they were not people who could live with themselves if they did
not do so. They could not love themselves if that love did not reach out
to others.

The terrorists who perpetrated this 'offence against humanity' were not
merciful, were not humane, were not loving. There are some that may
applaud their 'dedication', some that may think them' courageous', some that
may feel that such actions served some noble purpose...yet no purpose
can be noble that speaks of hatred.

We define ourselves by what we are not.....not by what we appear to be.

Furthermore, we can re-define ourselves at every single moment of this
life's experiencing thus enlarging our own spiritual self-awareness.

It is the enigma of the spiritual life and the 'life experiencing reality of
this existing'. There is far more of the iceberg hidden than is seen....
and it starts to be seen as life's experiences recycle the ice into
an ocean of lovingness.

return to website......................................................

Sunday, November 18, 2001

18th November 2001 22-30 CET
Tickets please!
Ever had that situation where you were going on a journey and
you packed so much stuff your suitcase was almost as heavy as you?

Or that situation where you had heard so much about a place from
others you thought you better visit too?

All that preparation, all that planning, all that excitement, all that
humping the case around?

When you get there you find you don't need most of the stuff in the
suitcase, huh? Or that the place wasn't quite what you'd imagined it to be,

Well, I got this feeling about 'eschatology'¨( a word from the Greek
eskhatos meaning last and generally used by theologians/religious
students to refer to "The Doctrine of death, judgement, heaven, hell")
that it's kinda like the suitcase and the anticipated 'place to visit'.

Many religions seem to feel the need to either promise us everything we
can dream of (providing we have 'pure' dreams, pure being by their definition)
in the 'afterlife' or to tell us that we are 'working off our karma from previous lives
in this life'. Either way we get the old..and I mean old....guilt/sin/shame equation,
don't we, huh? Now these images, allegories, mini-concepts were fine a
thousand or so years ago. Maybe even a hundred years ago.
They conveyed a message that urged people to look beyond the immmediacy
of their 'physical senses'. But to pursue such intransigent ideas today is to limit
the unconditionality of 'the lovingness'.

Well, how's about we came into this life experience for the sheer 'fun of it',
for the pleasure of the experiencing of even the pain of the experiencing -
for, spiritually speaking, these two imposters are the same, two sides of
the same equation, both are necessary for the equation to function ?

Do we really need to hear that we will be punished, in some life or another,
for not being as 'God dictates we must be' ? For that very statement is
a denial of the lovingness that birthed us with the precious gift of
'free choice in this life'.

Indeed, such heaven/hell/karma/judgment types of eschatology really
don't have a place in the 'lovingness of the Oneness'.

By definition - though it's sometimes hard for us to accept when we
see some of the terrible things that occur in this world - by definition...
Infinite Love is infinitely UNconditional.

Except.....oh there's gotta be an 'except' hasn't there - if you really love
someone you never, ever seek to hurt them in any way whatsoever.
If, in your need; if in your human-ness, you do hurt them...don't you
soon know it, deep inside? And who does it hurt most?

When we are less than we know we are......we hurt ourselves most, huh?
Hmmm... we can even do that when we pretend to be more than we really
are, hehehe.

I have seen that it's better to leave the theological baggage behind, instead
of humping all that heavy weight around. I have found it's better to enjoy
the 'now' of this journey than to loose all the experience of the wonderful
'spiritual scenery'' that's here by anticipating some destination in the

That's just my view...but, hey, you got your own pathway to travel,
your own scenery to view, huh? :):) You got your ticket....first class..
first class lovingness. :):)

return to website.......................................

Friday, November 16, 2001

Friday 16th November 2001 13-30 CET
Do u c?
I have a friend, in his mid-fifties, who has recently become an
SMS convert. Yep, he got a mobile phone! Considering he
doesn't have a computer, fights with his infra-red control for
dominance of a tv channel and has only in this last year qualified
as capable of effectively using a vcr....hehehehe....such an action
as mobile phone text messaging represents a quantum leap in
his technological progress, hehehehe. He's a lovely guy though
and would help anyone, anytime :):)

Like many people he has begun to experience the frustration
of 'learning a new language', the kind of "i c u 2, focl", stuff
of condensed messaging. He has also discovered that this can
lead to great misunderstandings,for well intentioned messages
can easily be misunderstood/misinterpreted.

In terms of religions, doesn't that sound familiar?

Language, words, are simply symbols that clothe communications
of concepts, ideas, wants, needs. For example, the word 'love'
has come to be interpreted (depending upon your standpoint)
as anything between lust, caring, discipline, control,...and so on.
A word can only be truly understood if we take care to appreciate
the context in which it is used;the historical meaning at it's time
of useage; the intellectual, psychological and emotional
circumstances of it's use.

Those who would defend 'tradition' in religion would be well
advised to seek a better comprehension of the historical useage
and context of a phrase before attempting to use it as a weapon
against those not persuaded of the same 'religious concept'.

Never in the history of mankind has there been such a torrent
of words as we see today, nor have the meanings of words been
so devalued, abused, misused, huh? From soap powder to
religious conversion....NEW.....has been utilised to
symbolise some dramatic improvement. Whenever we see
this word 'new' I feel that most of us adopt a cynical posture,
for the word has degraded in it's meaning, huh?

In fact any word is a subjective symbol, for the interpretation
of it's meaning is entirely dependent upon the viewers/listeners
personal experiences. Words are, in fact, a very poor methodology
of communication. Well it was written that 'actions speak louder
than words'.

So to those who wanted to know the meaning of 'ahimsa' (ito
blog 14th November) I would suggest a more objective approach
than simply relying upon my 'subjective comprehension'. If you
use any major search engine on the net, you will get results.
Choose the one that answers that which you seek. OK?

In the 'Oneness' that which is needful for each one of us to see,
to be aware of, always presents itself to us when we are
ready to welcome it. :):)

return to website.......................................

Thursday, November 15, 2001

Thursday 15th November 2001 16-30 CET
The enquiring spirit looks in all places for those 'coincidences', it is not
blinded by prejudice or intolerance, tradition or custom.
It recognises that as a diamond glistens in the light, so a truth is
reflected from many differing planes and levels. Such appears to be
the superstring-like activity of 'the Oneness'.

In this reality we call "the life experience'' there exists many apparently
differing religions. Within just one religion - take any of the major ones,
Judaism, Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Bhuddism -we can find schism
and dissent, argument and disagreement, traditionalism and modernism.
In short, within any single religion there appears to exist a battleground
of one perception of a truth versus another perception of a truth. Little
wonder then that in attempts to unify an individual religion, attacks
against other religions occur. Create a 'common enemy' if you seek to
create a 'common cause'.

It is, in fact, these religious 'wars' and battles that have done much
to create the very opposite of what they should have created. If a
religious concept/belief breeds intolerance, if a religious concept/belief
breeds hatred, if a religious concept/belief breeds a lack of 'reverence for life' is fair comment to conclude that it has nothing whatsoever to do with
the UNCONDITIONAL lovingness that is the hallmark of the One God,
'The Oneness'.

Ok, so it's reasonable to conjecture that this WAS the case, mankind, after all,
is walking a pathway of progress and some would argue a pathway of gradual
revelation (not me). That which was has a relationship to that which is...this is
a basic fundamental concept to do with learning, study, the acquisition of
knowledge/qualification. The basic rules of mathematics, for example. The
rules of language, grammar, punctuation as another example. Yet, has
the science of mathematics stood still? Is language an immovable thing
that does not evolve, change, develop to suit the needs of each

It has been my experience...I would feel not mine alone....that awareness,
'super-consciousness', involvement in the 'Oneness' can neither be
learnt nor taught. It simply IS. It simply IS in each one of us - an
integral and indivisible aspect of our experiential existing. We know
it before we come to this 'experiential existing' and all these aspected
reflections are reminders, 'coincidences', re-awakenings, awarenesses,
stimulations to celebrate our uniqueness and the need for our uniqueness
within the 'lovingness' expressions of the 'Oneness'.

The 'nowness' of the 'Oneness' has never been dependant upon
pre-condition, qualification, knowledge of tradition...any more than
a perception of the diamond's bright shining was dependant upon the light
being the same today as it was yesterday!

Ain't that a truth? Whenever in your experiences has the daylight been
today exactly the same as it was yesterday, or one hour ago, or one
minute ago?

Let us beware that in our thirst for knowledge, in our ego-driven hunger
for 'understanding', in our vanity of comprehension of another person's
experiencing of the diamond's reflectivity.......that we do not become
blind to the awareness of the 'now', are not open to the interactivity
of 'the lovingness'.

If you can read it in a book...can you also see it in a raindrop?
If you can hear it in a speech....can you also hear it in the ant's heartbeat?

Can you feel that it is in the uniqueness of the 'ordinary' that
the extra-ordinary is found?

Always...and in all ways.

return to website......................................

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

Wednesday 14th November 2001 22-00 CET
Tear-drops, pearl-drops, dew-drops.
As a youth of 15 years, Gandhi had experimented with definitions of the truth.
Included in these were the forays into 'less than truthful behaviour'. In his
autobiography he tells the story of such an incident of 'untruthfulness' and
it's profound results.

In seeking to help his brother, who had run up a debt of 25 rupees, Gandhi
stole a small piece of gold from his brother's armlet. He used the gold to pay
off the brother's debt. At first sight this was a not unreasonable course
of action...but principles are principles and even as a youth Gandhi had his.

This 'theft' was not mitigated in his mind even by the concept that it was
'for a good cause'. It preyed upon his mind until he reached the point
where he felt he must confess this deceipt to his sick father, for whom
he had the highest possible respect and love.

He could not, however, bring himself to confess to his father directly,
so he wrote it in a note and handed to his bedridden father. Quote:

"I wrote it on a slip of paper and handed it to him myself. In this note
not only did I confess my guilt, but I asked adequate punishment for it,
and closed with a request to him not to punish himself for my offence.
I also pledged myself never to steal again in the future.

I was trembling as I handed the confession to me father. He was...confined
to bed. His bed was a plain wooden plank.

He read it through, and pearl-drops trickled down his cheeks, wetting the paper.
For a moment he closed his eyes in thought and then...tore up the note. He
had sat up to read it. He again lay down. I also cried. I could see my
father's agony. It is still so vivid in my mind.

Those pearl-drops of love cleansed my heart, and washed my 'sin' away.
Only he who has experienced such love can know what it is. As the
song says
'Only he
who is smitten with the arrows of love
Knows its power'

This was for me an object lesson in Ahimsa. Then I could read in it
nothing more than a father's love, but today I know that it was pure
Ahimsa. When such Ahimsa becomes all-embracing, it transforms
everything it touches. There is no limit to it's power.

This sort of sublime forgiveness was not natural to my father. I had
thought he would be angry, say hard things, and strike his forehead.
But he was so wonderfully peaceful, and I believe this was due to
my clean confession."

When Gandhi was 16, his father died. Gandhi was 56 years old when he
wrote his autobiography.

Some experiences in life are so profound, so important, so essential
to our 'self-knowing'........they are always as fresh in our memory
as the morning dew.

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Friday, November 09, 2001

TWO blogs today Friday 9th November 2001 15-30 CET
From the poem "Visions 2", Geoffrey Groom 1995

"i did not see a new heaven,
a new Jerusalem descending just for me.
We walked amidst the dusty streets of poverty,
journeyed down the dark alleyways of illness,
we rushed across the sanded dunes of drought,
and slowly climbed the hundred hills of hunger.
they dragged me to the abyss of abuse,
or sailed me on the seas of enslaved misuse,
we inched across the chasm of ignorance
and upon the grave of apathy we did dance!
i heard happy singing in the halls of homelessness
and saw children playing on the dead carcass of greed.
No, i saw no new heaven,
for my eyes were filled with weary tears.
i beheld no new Jerusalem
as my mind encompassed a million fears.
i sank into the deep black darkness of my doubt
.........and at that thought
felt my hand grasped tighter by the little hand it held.

i heard words spoken like as music,
melodies of happiness and love
lifting my vision far above
my melancholy contemplations.
and as i viewed around me
a million childish lips moved in angelic rhythm,
a spasm of realistic hope electrified my consternation.
" It is coming
You will see,
coming to humanity"

return to website.....................

Friday 9th November 2001 15-00 hrs
I have been asked to elaborate upon the words "but there is no hierarchy
of spirituality - this is called equality" written on 6th November in the blog
entitled "Coincidences". I am somehwat puzzled that an explanation of the
obvious is I will answer in this way:

In the book of Genesis (Jewish and Christian tradition) the FIRST covenant
made by 'God' to anyone upon earth...was to all peoples, all creatures, of the
earth. In that early writing there was no distinction or inequality.

Islam declares that all ("men") are equal before Allah.

To the best of my knowledge Siddharta Gautama,(himself a former Prince)
"the Buddha", in the Four Noble Truths and Eight Fold Path, made no
qualification as to 'rights or priviledges of office". These concepts were
available to all - equally.

In Hinduism there is/was the 'caste system'. Originally this was a
kind of "colour-bar" (the sanskrit for caste, varna, means colour)
imposed by the invading Aryans who conquered the indigenous
Dravidians in about 1500 BC. This was originally a self-defence
mechanism that evolved into a 'tradition''. Gandhi, whom I regard
as the 'Father of modern India" said that it were better that the Hindu
faith die rather than the 'caste system' continue... a very bold
statement from a very pious man. He himself renamed the 'untouchables'
(the lowest caste) as 'Harajan'..meaning 'children of God'.

All of these major religions speak of it being wrong to commit murder.
The blessed Mohhamed spoke strongly about this. The Buddha, in the
moral code the Five Precepts, listed the first as being " to abstain from
taking life", the Ten Commandments of the Judao-Christian tradition
"thou shalt not commit murder" and the Hindu faith teaches respect
and reverence for life in all it's forms. Equality of 'right to life'

In 'the Oneness' all are loved unconditionally, ergo equally. There are no
masters nor servants, masters nor disciples, Gurus nor followers, Priests
nor congregations. There is no spiritual hierarchy and whenever in history
one has developed it has always created a barrier to the full expression of
the 'lovingness'. For men are men, vanity is vanity, ego is ego.

Those who think themselves 'masters' should consider, for a moment, the
'gift of lovingness' they receive from their 'followers'. This is a cause for
humility, not pride....celebration not castigation.
There are those who, in their need, will say "ah, but I have been called to
lead/instruct/teach for humans are silly creatures and need discipline"
substitute "fools" for silly creatures and "control" for discipline and we get
more the reality of the fundamental thinking.Respectful, huh?

If all are aspects of the Oneness, expressions of the 'lovingness' then all, all
at all times are doing exactly that which is their fullest expression of who or
what they wish to be at any moment in time. We are 'creating machines' always
...and in all ways....expressing and exploring the limitlessness of the lovingness.

If we take notice of those 'coincidences', those 'surprises', listen to our feelings
we will always see the presence of the lovingness. We are just as incapable
of doing this in whatever 'role' we play in life....yet far more capable of doing
it than we dare to comprehend. In this we are all equal.

Nor do I, who write, dare to presume to think that I am 'teaching' you who read.
For I can say nothing that you do not already, spiritually, know. If you seize
on a phrase I write and call it 'a truth' (note, not THE truth)...then this is only
because you already hold this truth within you...if you did not, you could
not recognise it, huh? We could not remind ourselves of it, huh?

There is equality in all things within the 'lovingness', you know it.
Any true expression of 'the lovingness' in and through our aspected reality
contains respect, humility , LOVE. Each leads to the other and each is
inter-dependant. Equal. You know it.
As we are all, whatever colour, nationality, political persuasion, religious
tradition........we are all equal in the 'lovingness' of the 'Oneness'
Know it, don't you?

return to website....................................

Thursday, November 08, 2001

Thursday 8th November 2001 21-00 CET
Traditional winter
It used to be that winter came long before Christmas. That was
in the 'good old days' (good, I suppose, because we over-romanticise
them). Then we went into that 'global warming thing' and winter's
started occurring after Christmas.

Well, this year it has returned to the old,traditional pattern.
Or so it seems.In the last 36 hours winter seems to have
come in full force. Low temperatures, blizzard-like snows
and all the 'traditional' aspects that accompany the 'good,old'
routines of nature.

And how we love our traditions, huh?

Yet ask anyone what tradition is and not many will
actually give a rational answer beyond saying "it's something
our fathers did, and their fathers before them, and so on".
That's nice, that linkage with lineage, that statement of 'roots'

That is, of course, why we all still ride horses and carts.HUH?
Its why preachers use microphones or 'bullhorns', temples
use electric light and most, given the opportunity, use the media.
Now, what's that got to do with anything?

Simply this, a tradition is something that grew out of a need
within the society of it's day. At least it is when applied to
such things as law, hygeine,cultural practice and...hmmmm...

Many of the traditions contained within Holy Books were
excellent traditions/cultural norms at the time the books were
written. Concepts expressed in allegories, stories and understandable
rhetoric.But, 'life goes not backward nor tarries in yesterday'
and nor should tradition dictate the precise, exact, miniscule
details of a belief/faith. For when tradition overrules the
'lovingness in the now' it has ceased to be the constructive
tool that served it's related society or culture. It has now
become a stumbling block to the experiencing and awareness
of the 'ever present, PRESENT, lovingness'.

To 'hide' in the over-romanticised perceptions of the past
and/or of tradition is not only is actually
destructive. It seeks to hinder, inhibit, restrict the fullest
possible experiencing of the 'now'.

So what are we offered as an alternative to this 'now', well,
of course, we are offered by the varying 'traditions' which are
the power control structures of established 'religions' the.....
then! This is ok except that there never is a 'then'. That which
is past is, at best, an over-romanticised perception of a non-participated
reality...that which is to come is a fantasised expectation that will never
be real-ised for as long as it remains a fantasised hope.
Only in 'the now' is there reality...for all else is simply conjecture.

Tradition serves it's culture, it's society. When it ceases to serve
and seeks to become master it has abandoned all claim for respect
or recognition.

At the time of Abraham, for example, human sacrifice was moderately
common amongst many tribes of the area. That's the 'tradition' Abraham
was following when he went up the mountainside with Isaac. Abraham's
own inner voice, the voice of his lovingness, spoke to him and told him
to sacrifice the goat caught in the brambles, not his own son. EEEEEEK!

Of course, that is not correct...he heard God's voice telling him, didn't he?

In the Oneness, precious ones, the difference between the two is only
in perception. The Christian doctrines speak of the 'indwelling God'. Many
faiths speak of the 'God within and the God without'. Well, I could get
into a long discussion about this........ but I will simply say......was it just
coincidence that Abraham 'heard' that voice there on the mountain top?
It was certainly a surprise....for the dearest wish of Abraham's lovingness
toward his own son was 'granted' and he broke with tradition, transgressed
the accepted norms!

I guess, in the final analysis, it doesn't matter that much whether it was
Abraham's imagination or ' God's intervention' ...or both(which it more likely
was).....the end result was a clear statement of love as opposed to a
cold statement of tradition.

Tradition is a statement of a past perception...a statement of a 'modified
codus' is not immovable. Tradition grew out of a perceived need. It's
branches did not, however, stop growing nor did the tree of progress
cease to bear it's fruits.

Whenever tradition fights against such statements of 'the lovingness', in
whatever religious or social structure it is found, it has nothing to do
with a perception of Unconditional love....a comprehension of the
limitless lovingness of the Oneness.

It speaks a dead language from a dead tree. Those who would
seek to defend tradition by not allowing it to blossom, mutate,
transmute.......... kill the tree.Had Abraham not 'broken with traditional
custom and practice' would there be a Jewish religion, a Christian
religion...and a few other

There is a condition called the 'lovingness' could call it a
'tradition' if you wanted too...except that always, always
and in all ways, the lovingness is now and the lovingness
seeks every which way to speak to us of it's unconditionality.

It's minus 1 C out there and the chill factor of the strong wind
must add quite a good few extra minus degrees to that. But, it's
ok in here...I got the stove going....I have all that dead wood
to keep me warm and comfortable :):)

Hmmm..that is it's purpose, isn't it?

return to website................................

Wednesday, November 07, 2001

Wednesday 7th November 2001 16-30 CET
Grey heavily laden skies and a temperature, at the time of writing, of just
1 degree C, are messengers of the winter that is now obviously fully
arrived. It has sent it's snowflake emails and a slight covering of snow
lies on the land and precariously perches upon the trees and bushes.
The slightest of winds occasionally dislodging some and drifting them
in fractal designs against the landscape.

This is not actually such a surprise, it is now November and quite often
in the last 10 years the winter has started in the first week of October.

The surprise today is the decision to re-visit India in January, to once again
sense the wonder of that country and the special tolerance shown by
most of it's people. This also provides the opportunity to visit some
special places that hold great meaning for me...the place where Gandhi
was assasinated for example. When I first visited India and Gandhi Smitri
(thats the place) I was overcome with a profound sense that his spirit was
very evident in 'the now'. He was a truly incredible man of whom Einstein
wrote "generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever,
in the flesh, walked upon this earth". I have always, as an englishman
and an inheritor of all the aspects of the English colonialist history,
always felt that the long suffering people of India were also very special -
for, despite every reason to hate us, they had hearts that were open to receive
Gandhi's message and followed him in his non-violent crusade against we
english. A crusade that often shamed us and caused us to re-examine
our morality and values. A crusade that eventually led to the Independence
of India....and yet still retained a 'valued friendship' with England.

It was a demonstration, at the time of World Wars and such, that honesty
and humility can more enlighten the oppressor than many other things.

So many years have passed since Gandhi 'walked upon the earth' and as
I look around at the terrible waste of life, the horrors of some man-created
actions and 'non-loving inspired rhetoric', I wish so often and so much that
a 'new Gandhi' were amongst us all. Ah, the pathway of human progress is
often littered with the examples of non-progress, huh? And so very often,
too often, that pathway is signposted with the graves of the future.....the children.
It is not always easy to comprehend the aspects of 'the lovingness'

For example, I have heard it quoted that 'the poor will always be with us',
to which I respond, 'yes, that is so...for they seek to remind us of the
principle of inter-dependence that is the basis of "the lovingness".
Yet, the time will come when there shall be no poor, for our 'realised
value-system' will have transmuted the importance of material possession
into the value of people'.

Travelling to India will also, hopefully, allow me to unite with some
incredibly special friends... people who opened their hearts and home
to a somewhat strange englishman that they did not know. People who
gave and shared without requiring anything in return...and indeed being
offended when payment was offered . I remember so clearly, so clearly
as yesterday, that it was shown to me that the offer of payment for hospitality
received was as though I placed dirt in the hand of him to whom it was offered.
That came as a wonderfully profound spiritual experience to me...and I
shall remain thankful throughout all my life for those 'coincidences' that caused
my weary footsteps to find sanctuary for my body and my spirit
within such a truly loving and caring environment. Their humility
would doubltess be offended if I were to mention them by full name and
location here in this blog.......but Dinesh, his generous hearted Mother and his
truly devout and honourable Father.....they know who they are and where
they are. I stumbled into a shop.....and discovered a temple of 'lovingness'

Life is full of surprises, 'coincidences?', if we are willing to be open to them
and to trust in the lovingness of 'the Oneness'. The more you test it,
the more you try it out, the more you are open to see it......the more obvious it

That's the real surprise! It is through the ordinary things that the extra-ordinary
is always present and can be found if we are willing to see it. Individually
experiencing and without pre-condition. No hype, no flashing lights, no ad news headlines. Just an ever-present undercurrent of 'lovingness'
waiting to surprise us :):)

You see, that's another surprise. 'God', however you choose to define it, Him, Her,
or even refuse to define ....... that 'lovingness' is unconditional. NO CONDITIONS.
That's what real love is. It loves us as we are and does not set conditions on how we
'ought to be'. That's part of the mistake of the religious orgs, a misunderstanding
of the boundlessness of the lovingness. We are doing exactly, we are being exactly,
that for which we came into this experiencing reality at any given moment in time.
Anyone who thinks differently misunderstands the enormity of the 'lovingness'
Anyone who thinks differently does not fully comprehend the meaning of
'UNCONDITIONAL love'. Anyone who feels there is something that God is,
or is not, commits a fundamental error in their understanding of 'the Oneness'

Once you truly experience it,become 'aware, conscious' of it,
it truly does change your perception of who you really are.
For we are a part of 'the Oneness' and can never be parted from it.
We are an aspect of 'the lovingness' as each snowflake is an individualised
aspect of winter. It matters not if we melt into a re-created form,
for that which is our essence, an energised aspect of 'the lovingness',
that is for always. Unconditionally.

Once you start giving out unconditional love, the surprises, the 'coincidences',
the energy of 'the lovingness' starts to overwhelm you like an much
so that you could never have believed that you could contain so much joy nor
give out so much love.

It's a REAL surprise, hehehehehe. And it's UNCONDITIONAL !
It's happening even without your awareness and conscious participation.LOL

return to website................................

Tuesday, November 06, 2001

Tuesday 6th November 2001 13-50 CET
WOW! It's snowing!! Really, it's snowing!
Honestly, I just posted the last blog, looked
up from my pc's snowing?

Manna fom Heaven ?

ooooops, coincidences, hahahahaa

return to website.............................
Tuesday 6th November 2001 13-00 hrs CET
You know it. It's happened to you so many times. You do
something, even think something, and within a short while
there comes another url (uncannily related linkage) from
out of the existence ether.

The first times it happens we tend to dismiss it as simply
'coincidences'. Then, when it keeps on happening, we
start to become suspicious - even paranoid (!) - imagining
some great control freak is exercising moves in a bizarre
game of life. The suspicion makes us angry for these
sublte fantasised manoeverings attack our sense of self and
independence evoking memories of childhood at school maybe
when the occasional teacher was a 'control freak'. Naturally
we didn't like the teacher! As a result we probably didn't like
the taught subject - hmmm - our 'emotional intelligence' was
developed as a protective mechanism first and foremost.

This anger/fight-or-flight mechanism is probably also
triggered strongly in our teen years, as we do the natural
and normal thing of self-assertion and self-recognition. This
is probably why so many enter their first power-play
disenchantment scenario with the 'organised religions' during
those teen years - the PR job done for *god* by so many
of these orgs closely resembles those 'control freak teachers', huh?

You know it. It's happened to you so many times. Even
when involved in some 'religious control scenario' you
knew, you had your feelings, that something wasn't
quite 'in balance' about the scenario - THEN - WHAM -
along came that 'coincidence' to reinforce your understanding
that it indeed was not 'in balance'. You know it, huh?
Remember, they said 'God is Love' and also said 'and God'll
beat the hell outa you if you don't behave in this way or that way'.
And you knew, deep inside you knew/understood that this
was an 'unbalanced God ' that these 'PR folk' were pushing.
You know it. It happened again, just as you thought "I'll
give this religion thing another try', -WHAM - along came
a 'coincidence', an invincible 'strong feeling rush' that caused
you to 'log off' the 'religion' chatboard! huh? Did you log off
or where you set up to be 'kicked', hehehehe.

You see, I strongly feel there are NO coincidences. Even every
leaf on a tree is unique. Every tree unique. Everything that is
not 'man-made' is unique. 5 billion folk=5 billion 'unique
perceptions of The Oneness'. 5 billion 'different religions'.
You know it. You sense it immediately, especially when the
indoctrination/propaganda/control machine starts to mess with
your spirit. Especially at such moments along come these
'coincidences'.Then, we are told, we should not listen to
this 'inner voice' because it is the voice of some fantasised
creature called 'the devil', hahahahahaha. The Chairman of
the Board of, hahahahaha.

You know it. You know it because, in spiritual terms,
into this reality, this experiencing, knowing all,ALL, the
spiritual truths. Oh yeah, we have to learn the methodologies
of existing in this reality, the internet of interaction with the
'physical expression of the conceputalities' - but not the spiritual
truths. Those we all came here knowing. I can't tell you
anything you don't already know, sense. Maybe we can
'remind each other' now and then, but there is no hierarchy
of spirituality - this is called equality!

Reminders? Oh, yeah, that's where I came in, coincidences :)

Out of the ether yesterday I got an email - not from someone
who reads this blog (can you believe it, such people do exist,
hahaha). Yesterday I was talking about 'Ageism' especially
with reference to ageist segregation directed at the young in
our world. I talked about 'the world of respectful humility'.
POW. There in the email:

" Follow the three R's: Respect for self, respect for others,
responsibility for all your actions."

Words of a beautifully loving person, the Dalai-Lama from
his Thoughts for The Millenium book. A wonderfully humble

Now, ain't that

And do you want to know something really weird? I could
never have thought that these words would have been sent
to me from the person, the physical person, who sent them.

There ain't no stopping the communication web of
"The Lovingness" that is an aspect of "The Oneness"
:). No Denial of Service attacks, netsplits or verbal
virusses stop this linkage, hahahahahaha

return to website...........................

Monday, November 05, 2001

Monday 5th November 2001 18-00 hours.
PC stability
Ok. After two weeks of relative frustration my PC now seems to
be operating in a stable mode.The new Motherboard, new HDD , new
graphic card and new OS (new to me, but only 98SE) seems to
have resolved the problems. Now I can get 'blogging' again with
a sense of continuity.

My old PC carried me through the early crisis but it is the newer
PC that is the future. Hmmm. Now that's a familiar theme. A presumption
that the 'old is better' simply because it plods along is dangerous.
I am reminded of what Kalil Gibran wrote when speaking of
children/young people:
"You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the House of Tomorrow, which
you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them
like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday"

I had so much old clutter, failed or outdated programmes,
bugs and unresolved problems, on my old HDD it's no wonder
everything crashed. It's good to 'clean out' by bringing
in the more progressive technology. It's the same with folk.
If 'older folk' don't expose themselves to the creativity and
unlimited imagination that are the hallmarks of youth, then
there is the risk of 'stagnating and eventually becoming inoperative
in terms of sensing the wonder of the life experience'.

"Ah, but one should have respect for age", I hear the whispered
mumblings. To which I respond, which age? For I have known
many a wise young person and many an old fool in my life.
Is not respect the right of everyone? For what reason
should respect be offered to honour years of continuing
experiential errors? Better rather to respect the creative
impulsiveness of youth that sees no man-created limitations
If an older person has not entered the 'world of respectful humility'
then they have no right to demand respect for themselves...this
is simply an "ego/power/control scenario" which probably exists to
support insecurities.

"Keep me away
from the wisdom that cannot cry,
the philosophy that cannot laugh,
and the pride
which does not bow before children/youth"

For, in truth, children/youth "are the sons and daughters of Life's
longing for itself"(Gibran again) and are the expression of Life's
progression towards perfection and paradise. That is worthy
of respect from all ages, for it is the nature of progress to
challenge 'what is' and create that which is yet to be. If that were
not so then humanity would never have become the dominant earth
species. The ability to question is the seed of creativity, improvement,
progress. For we cannot question what are subconscious is not already
resolving. The answer is in the question, huh?

That 'which was' is simply the herald, the pathmaker, for that
which is to be in Life's progressive drive towards infinity.If
I hadn't had Win95, then Win98 how could I possibly understand

So I respectfully suggest that if you are over 20 years of
age that you expose yourself regularly - and respectfully -
to the creativity of those younger than you. It's the spiritual
'new harddisk' that allows you to be fully functional in this
progression we call the life experience.

For what is the point of being in this reality if not to translate
concept into experience? Crunching the binaries of
this reality to attain the required solution, concept into experience.

What's the point of a new programme if the operating system
can't translate it into an active, creative tool?

return to website..................................

Saturday, October 13, 2001

Saturday 13th October 2001 11.40 CET
So it's been a week of continuing PC frustrations, attempting to
recover crashed hdd data. Which to recover first, what priorities to
enforce? Do I simply seek records from the last few years, email,
letters, faxes, etc. or do I seek programs I regarded as invaluable,
the little taskbar/prog launcher, the XnViewer, etc.

Amazing how we tend to list priorities accepting a principle of
'exclusion' , existentialist philosophies - the either/or scenario -
permeate our progress.

So, as the autumn prioritising of shedding continues, one can be
tolerated for wondering whether a process of selective exclusion
applies with the trees and their leaves. Or whether such an issue
is irrelevant, since the outcome of all this action is known - a
changing of form and purpose that returns the created to a
re-creating process. The 'Oneness' recycles everything. There
are, therefore, no exclusive/inclusive priorities - for all cause and
effect has it's relevance and meaning within the symmetry of
'the Oneness'.

Now this is also extremely topical. Having just read an article
about the 'Children of USA helping the Children of Afganistan'
Presidentially-sponsored initiative I was somewhat amazed to
see that it is already coming in for some criticism from those
who say "'why help them when we have kids of our own that need
helping?". It is as though one excludes the other instead of both
being an integral part of the whole.

Some are also utilising a criticism of cynical use of kids in
propaganda as being the cause of this 'scheme'. So it appears
leading Politicians cannot also have compassionate hearts, for if
they do then we must immediately suspect the motive, exclude or
include the concept.

Kids helping kids is the most natural thing in the world. Watch them
at play, watch them share their energies with each other (I believe
it is called social bonding skills). Do it on an international scale
- kind of international social bonding - and it is suddenly perceived by
some as being a cynical abuse!

Give out Love, Compassion, Integrity of Interdependence,
the many aspected inter-relation of Individuality that makes
the whole...and that's what you'll get back...
as Christ said 'tenfold, a hundredfold'. The Bhudda said similar. The Gita
says similar. Doubtless the Koran says similar.

'In the Oneness' what goes around comes around, huh?

Maybe it's time to recognise there is enough for all and sharing
what we have is not simply an action of faith in humanity but it
also becomes, in a current terminology, a fatwa. A 'holy' war
against want, against deprivation, against ignorance.

A dream? Hmmm... go to poorer countries in the world and see
how they live the 'dream', sharing what little they have. I have done.
India, Phillipines. I was amazed by the 'commonality of caring' and
felt that we in the west had lost something important. Maybe we
are starting, led by children, to find it again.

It's not a question of either/or, it's an issue of both. I want to save
most of what was on my harddisk - I wouldn't have had it there
if I hadn't wanted it. It is only a question of willingness and some
more 'work' (since my pc is my pleasure, how is it work?) to simply
do that. Re-create it all.

'In the Oneness' what goes around comes around, huh?

return to website.........................

Monday, October 08, 2001

Monday 8th October 2001 20-25 CET
Pyramidical Pines silhouette against a dusk-grey sky like supersized
static spinning tops. Bone-baring Birch trees scarcely acknowledging
their leaf-like flesh surrender to the ending of the autumn season by
carpetting the ground with decaying memories of spring and summer.

The air, moistened after the days hard rains, invites the misting earth
to metamorphose a geni here or a Marley there whilst two Red Deer
attentively listen to my approaching footsteps from a distance of about
200 meters. Wisely deciding that they have no wish to socialise, for this,
after all, is the hunting season here, they bouncily glide away across
the drop laden grasses of the field into the shadowed anonymity of
the nearby woodland.

If you listen very, very carefully you can hear the land counting sheep,
though this land in this area is not farmed in any way despite it's
incredible productivity as witnessed by the surging growth after
forest felling events. Sheep counting preludes sleep and the land
needs it's rest in accordance with the season's supervision.

Between the sighs of the gradually rising breeze the echoes
of summer voices, canoists, children playing,swimming groups
and the busy hammering of renovation recitations, flood the mind.

Such is normality here with time to spare for the pursuance of peace.
I wish the whole world could sense the miracle of this paradise, the
sensitivity of this creativity.

return to website...........................

Thursday, October 04, 2001

Thursday 4th October 2001 22-00 CET
Pleasant discoveries
Nice days seem to happen more often in my 'hermit-like life'.
Today I have had some very pleasant surprises that serve to
remind me of just how marvellous people can be.
My PC problem is now very close to being solved. All problems
usually are solved given patience, for I feel a problem is only
a solution awaiting it's time of birth. My PC problem is being
solved, after already devoting much helpful time, by the
company/staff from whom I bought the components.

Sometimes it's so much more important the way a thing is done
than that it is done. That can certainly be said of the team at a
company called Hog Data. I mean I'm not the biggest buyer in the
world, but when you are somehow made to feel like 'family', many
many months after you have bought, it's a good feeling from good
A new cooker was delivered today and that came from some 'experts
in customer satisfaction' also. Bert and Jan and the team at Expert.
It's so nice when you got to do business that it can be done with such
kindness and courtesy.

We all have to survive in this world, meet our responsibilities, look to
our own needs and those of our families - but, hey, isn't it just so
beautiful when people live their lives as a reality expression of who
they are as opposed to simply what they are ?

reutrn to website........................