11th December 2001 14-30 CET
Ersatz (it's a looong one, hehehe)
It is a strange paradox, is it not, that the increased communications
and material wealth of the last century - and especially the last decades
- seems to have produced a remarkable irony? Namely, plagues of loneliness,
emptiness, boredom, disatisfaction with life. There is a 'kick-conditioned
mentality' around that is not simply related to the experimentation
of youth.One of the saddest aspects of all of this is the apparent
disillusionment leading to self destructive excesses in young people.

I am simply observing, there is neither criticism nor praise in my
observations... I hope :):)

Some persons strive to gather money, although they never use it, and
in the process lose their friends, family, even their very self. Eventually
dwelling in a paranoia palace. Amazingly this process, though meant
to obtain desired 'security' produces the absolute opposite...so many
insecurities.

Some persons eat, eat, eat. They are not hungry, but they eat. Even
though they probably know they are damaging their long term health
prospects they can't resist eating. Filling themselves from the outside
in the hope of filling a non-physical emptiness inside.

Some persons seek thrill, stimulus, excitement in a never ending
cycle of neuron stimulation, fearing within the silences as though
the silence meant death. 'Living life to the full' is an oft used phrase
but surely that is dependant upon one's definition of life, huh? How often
we hear this term 'I'm bored', like it's up to someone else, or something
else, to create something in your life for you? Hmmm.....

Some persons seek knowledge of spiritual things somehow believing
that to have this knowledge is also to have the wisdom to use it. So
they study, they read, they input the life experiences of as many
others as they can....then they seek to mimic someone else's
individualised experience whilst only comprehending a very small
part of it - for how can we experience as another has experienced
unless we have lived their life? All is individual.There may be common
threads but they weave individual tapestries, huh?

And loving experiences. Some persons gather up 'love experiences' like
it's the only way they can feel they exist at all. Being wanted, being
needed seem to be such high priorities....and the more these aspects
fail to deliver the 'inner fulfillment' the more they chase after yet newer
experiences of 'being loved'. It's like they have to feel as though they
'belong' somewhere and if they can't feel that it creates depression
(a means of reorientating one's acceptance, or otherwise, of a life
circumstance), unhappiness, discontent...and sometimes much worse
than this.

Always this search outside of ourselves for something that can never be
inside...unless and until we are willing to accept that it is already there,
huh? HUH?

Seeking these things outside of ourself is a substitute, it's ersatz, it's
a compensation for not having accepted, realised, become aware that
we already have all of these things inside us.

Question: Can your loneliness fill another's loneliness?
Question: Can an empty glass fill another empty glass?
Question: Can your sense of being unwanted fill another persons want?
Question: If you cannot love yourself, how can you expect that someone
else can love you? Is that not an unfair and unrealistic demand
upon another?
Question: If you do love yourself, if you really know who and what you are,
is not your primary motivation to give out 'the lovingness' rather
than to concern yourself with receiving from another? Is not this
the way of Christ, of the Bhudda, the Dalai Lama, Gandhi and others
we regard as 'spiritual greats' that have walked the earth?
Question: If you lack 'self respect' how can you expect others to respect you?
Question: If you make yourself less than you are, why be surprised when
others treat you as less?
Question: why do you seek from the outside an awareness that can only
be found on the inside?

As I have previously written in this blog, all are equal in the realm of the
'lovingness'. There are no higher and no lower, no caste system, no leader/
follower, we all arrive in this reality equal in a spiritual sense. We may have
differing agendas of experiencing but...and it's a very big BUT.....in the
realm of 'the Oneness' no-one is superior or inferior.

Oh, in this experiencing reality called life, in some material
senses it may be that there appears to be inequality....in some emotional
senses it may appear there is inequality...but look again. Are the wealthy
truly happy and fulfilled? Is there really a possibility of happiness that is
not a personal perception or a personal realisation?

How can it be that so many that have achieved 'material success' are still
unfulfilled? Or so many that have masses of 'friends or acquaintances' still
feel lonely? Or so many who have sought love from another still feel
unloved or disrespected?

Surely it is clear: if it doesn't come from within yourself, it cannot
come from outside - for even if it did come from outside, if you did not
already have it within you could never recognise the visitor.

So, a little suggestion..the 'Churchill methodology'. Winston Churchill
used to make a list...all the good things on one side...all the bad things
on the other (you have your own definitions of what's good and bad, huh?).
Try it yourself...find some quietness...create some stillness in your
busy world....and simply sit and list all the attributes about yourself
that you consider good, worthwhile.....then list all the things you consider
'ungood' (ungood is a way of saying not good that also implies the power
to change it..to undo it)..

Important note here - list those things which are your own perception of
yourself, not what or who others think you are (they have their own
reasons for projecting their own problems onto you, huh?).

When you have finished your list...simply ask yourself..is this really
me as I see myself? Then ask...would I love me if I were someone
else?

Then ask yourself...do I love me?

(If you really got trouble with your list, send me a copy..... we'll
work with it together if you wish. Your choice, huh?)

Now...know this...understand this...be fully, fully aware of this...
no matter who or what you think you are......
there is no way, no way, that you are not loved unconditionally
within the 'lovingness of the Oneness'. (and for those with a negative
view of themselves please note the grammatical double negative in the
preceeding sentence..it's a way to stress that the lovingness accepts
us as we are...not as some conceptualisation would like us to be).

Byron Katey, in her 'The Work' personal self realisation system
said a beautiful wonderful thing one time. She said " When you walk
into a room, know that everyone loves you...they're just not all
aware of it yet."

But then, why should they be...when you are not aware of how
fantastic a person you are in the sight of the 'Oneness' or even
in your own view of yourself, huh?

Nor is this a call to ego inspired arrogance, for in the
'balancing of the lovingness' an amazing thing happens...
the more you can be aware of how magnificent you are..
the more aware you become of the magnificence of another also.
The more aware you are of yourself, the more aware you are of others.

............................
Postscript in answer to an email:
It is my need to write this blog, my expression of my awareness.
This need have nothing to do with you. I can tell you nothing
you do not already know..spiritually. If there is anything in
these writings that 'rings a bell' in your spirit..the bell was already
within you to be rung, huh? Nor will you take in any aspect
of another's experiencing that is not already a paraphrasing of your
own awareness. We have nothing to learn....only to be aware of
what we already have inside.
Pranam :):)

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